Many people have started looking at vulnerability as a weakness, and even more so now with society reinforcing traits like toxic masculinity. The idea of “men don’t cry” has been around for a while, but it’s slowly expanding to the take that any kind of open vulnerability should be avoided. Every other person is under the notion that they have to be tough and show that tough personality to others, so they can never take advantage of your lows.
That might be true to a certain extent, but shielding yourself from people with layers of ‘toughness’ has drawbacks. In fact, accepting your vulnerable self can bring out more than you’d imagine. Let’s dive into it!
What is Vulnerability?
We’ll get to the why and hows of embracing vulnerability, but first, let’s understand what it means.
Vulnerability defines opening up and putting yourself on display as you are without any armor. You can think of it as showing up with your raw and authentic self. Our imperfections, flaws, fears, and insecurities collectively make us who we are, which we often hide from people. Vulnerability asks us to bring all this to the forefront and truly embrace it no matter how uncomfortable or scary it may get.
In some cases, vulnerability can mean getting out of your comfort zone. Such situations force us to venture toward situations that we normally wouldn’t. Uncertain situations can make us coop up in our shells and go full-on defensivewhich worsens the situation. Embracing your flaws as part of your awesomeness, aka #BecomingFlawesome can help us embrace our vulnerable selves. We’ll get into a few tips to do that in a while.
Understanding the Inner Critic
We discussed vulnerability, but we also need to understand what we do, even unintentionally, that suppresses our authentic selves for an armored, seemingly perfect self.
For starters, the inner critic is the voice inside your head, and pretty much everyone has it. No, we’re not talking about mental illnesses, but the thoughts that automatically pop up every few minutes. These thoughts often develop according to our environment, experiences, and society. As a result, we’re prone to configuring our thoughts, even those directed at our self-image, based on societal pressure, cultural ideals, comparison to others, and fear of failure.
As much as you’d expect this inner critic to judge others, it goes the extra mile regarding ourselves. If you’ve ever straight-up criticized or undermined yourself, that’s your inner critic feeding on your insecurities and fears and throwing them back at you. Before you can tackle it, you need to identify when that inner critic has become predominant to an unfavorable extent. It’s not just the critic that affects your well-being, but it also impacts your thoughts, emotions, and even actions.
How Do You Tame the Inner Critic?
Believe it or not, the inner critic greatly influences our lives, as stated above. Here’s the good part, though, it can work for you, too, instead of against you. Fortunately, Kristina Mand-Lakhiani has a whole book “Becoming Flawesome – The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life” with expert insights that will help unravel your vulnerability and live a fulfilling, authentic life. Till then, these tips can help you slowly transition into positivity:
- Self-Compassion First: Agreed, self-compassion doesn’t come naturally. It’s easier to be kinder to others than yourself. Understand that your vulnerability makes you human, not inferior to others.
- Challenge the Negativity: Almost every time, your inner critic only makes you doubt yourself when the reality is the opposite. Whenever those thoughts start coming, question their validity. Replace the negativity with positive affirmations. For example, if your inner critic says you can’t take on a new opportunity, list strengths that make you the perfect fit and go for it!
- Embrace Authenticity: Authenticity means showcasing your vulnerable self, which can take courage. However, it’s important to know that your imperfections are your strengths, and embracing the pathway to #BecomingFlawesome, awesome with your flaws, can open doors for growth, opportunities, and success that you never would’ve imagined.
Conclusion
Living an authentic life comes with embracing vulnerability and redirecting your inner critic to positivity. It’s definitely not easy, but it’s truly a transformation journey that continues towards growth, connections, and self-acceptance.